And so we begin…
Our promised expose on Kootenai County Commissioner David Stewart…
It seems that the Not So Dynamic Duo of Stewart and his ersatz campaign manager, none other than Larry “The Lounge Lizard” Spencer have begun their scorched earth campaign against challenger Chris Filios.
Spencer, you may recall, was the “Rocket Scientist” behind the Marc Eberlein has Alzheimer’s campaign. That farcical ludiocrity (we made that word up just for Spencer) has earned Spencer the new moniker of “Dumber than a Box O’ Rocks”! No need to reintroduce yourself to the Good Commissioner Eberlien when you see him, he’s just A-OK and as anyone who works with him can attest, his memory is just fine!
So why would Stewart hitch his wagon to the likes of LL Spencer? Welllllll, we’d speculate that Stewart doesn’t have many friends right now and Spencer, well, he doesn’t have any that we can see. Spencer you recall, likes people to think of him as a King Maker…like in Jai Nelson. Too bad for Spencer, Jai just couldn’t be controlled and was, in fact, more than a pretty face…she had an independent mind! (We’ve heard stories that Stewart claims responsibility for “scaring” Jai into not running again…we’re investigating…stay tuned!)
And then there’s Marc Eberlien who Spencer made a King, or not, as the reality shows…Marc is, by all accounts, a good and hard working public servant, who has impressed colleagues and constituents alike as a hard working and deep thinking conservative…who can’t be controlled by the likes of LL Spencer! What were you thinking Larry? Do you really think you’re that much smarter than the average bear?
Well anyway…. now on to Stewart. Did LL make him a King? As promised, this begins a serial expose on David Stewart. When he ran the first time, he assured us that he was a “successful businessman” with keen insights and vast experience in land development, home building and even the “international oil” business…we begin our story there…David Stewart…International Oil maven…NOT!
Part I
Once upon a time, in a land far away…well, ok it was really Spokane…David Stewart operated an International Oil Business…well, not quite,…which thrived…ok not so much!
You see, this business was really just a few (5 to be exact) oil change shops. You know, the kind of place that you go to exchange your used motor oil for new, maybe top off some fluids or get clean filters. Pretty common place these days, but that has about as much to do with being an International Oil Man, as it would to be the fry guy at McD’s! (But we digress!)
So Stewart, or “Stewie”, as we shall refer to him from now on, operated his business under the catchy name of PRO-FORMANCE (get it, pro-formance as in performance…) Well, apparently little Stewie didn’t think it wise to reduce his “exclusive” agreement to writing with his oil supplier Castrol, a subsidiary of PB, as in British Petroleum, (get it now?….that’s where the International Oil experience comes in…like if you have a lemonade stand as a kid made with lemons from Mexico you would be an International Citrus Merchant….Right????? Oh Stewie…you one funny guy!)
Apparently not everyone was thrilled by ProFormance’s performance:
Things didn’t go so well between Stewie and BP. PRO-FORMANCE didn’t perform so well which led to Stewie filing suit against BP…
Download the Suit here: StewieSuit
Sooooo….what can we deduce from Part I????? That little Stewie was not quite so accurate when he told us all that he has experience in the “International Oil business”. He was nothing more than a oil change guy! (Who ran some leased shops to boot!)
Coming soon…Part II…How NOT to enter into a contract with a big company if you’re a successful business man!
[Note: All documents posted with this series are part of the Public Record and can be obtained from the Federal Court. Also, we are, as you know a Parody Blog…calling Larry Spencer a “Lounge Lizard” is all in good fun. He’s not really a lizard…or he can’t shape shift into one…we don’t think…or…Can he?]
Very interesting. But Stoopid. (Stewie & Larry that is) Looking forward to the next installment.
Poor little Stewie he’s in for a big surprise this election season. I wonder how much of the taxpayers’ money he has spent driving around in a county car for his own personal affairs.