…Mayogate: from the “Wish We Had A Real Local News Outlet!” department.
Sources tell us that Representative Phil Hart was spotted today at the Burger King on Mullan, in Post Falls. He ordered a small drink, fries and Whopper, “hold the Mayo”.
Witnesses say a small child asked him why he didn’t like Mayo? “I like Mayo,” responded Hart, “It’s just that I’m trying to cut calories!” Seemingly satisfied with Mr. Hart’s response, the young boy thanked Mr. Hart for the copy of the U.S. Constitution Hart presented to him.
It appears that incensed Liberals are flooding the SCDC (Southern Condiment Discrimination Center) with calls and angry emails demanding that Mr. Hart be banished from fast food establishments in the Post Falls area. Head of the Condiment Lovers Union, Doo-ane Harrasmussen (our favorite fictional Liberal) was quoted in the morning edition of the “award winning” blog featured on Speakless Rebuke Newspaper –“Hucksterberry’s”, as having cried…”Will no one save us from this Hartless condiment denier!”
We received a press release this morning from Hart challenger Ed Morse, who stated, “I’ll be your mayonnaise man!” New signs have been popping up all over Liberal and Democrat controlled properties through out the Hayden area that read, “Morse the Mayonnaise Man!”
Mr. Hart’s office released the following statement: “The Constitution protects our right to hold the Mayo” and “Burger King’s slogan “Have it your way!” is Constitution friendly.”
This parody sponsored by: Republicans Exposing Reagan Republican Lunacy P.A.C. and the Doesn’t The Media Have Anything Better To Do Than Trash Phil Hart P.A.C.
Note to Media: How about a story about Phil Hart, on the fact that he saves his constituents money, in fact he saves all taxpayers, by driving back and forth (not flying) to Boise during the legislative session? How about a story on the fact that Phil Hart has paid way more in taxes than would constitute his “fair share”? How about a story on what the tax law really says? How about a story about how Phil Hart, at his own expense, fought to protect the 1st Amendment of the United States Constitution? (What has the “Mayo Man” done to protect, support and defend the Constitution?) How about a story on the lack of justice in America…in Idaho…in Kootenai County?
Note to Phil: Thank you Phil Hart for saving us money and for having the sense to stop and take a nap on that very long and lonely drive! We know how hard you work for Liberty! The REAL Conservatives support you!
P.S. We Hart Burger King! (No Kidding)
Coming Soon! Proxygate…just the facts, M’am!